keep it short | october 2018

Short Phrases Parents Can Use

To Help Children Cope with Emotions - Part 1

Do you ever feel like your child just doesn’t listen to you? Do you have to repeat yourself over and over again to get her to respond? Or, do you ask your child to do something and he ignores you? Teaching a young child to cooperate with verbal requests can be challenging. You may be tempted compromise your expectations (to pick up toys or sit at the table for meals) because it’s too hard to get them to follow directions.

We’d like to suggest that you try these short phrases below. Short phrases are powerful because they prevent parents from talking too much - a common parenting (and teaching) trap. When we talk too much, children learn to tune us out.

What to say instead:

“Eyes”

Be sure you have your child’s attention BEFORE you give directions. It’s best to get close to your child (instead of calling across the room), touch your child gently and say “Eyes” before making a request. When your child makes eye contact with you, say “There you are! It’s time to…..” whatever it’s time to do. In addition, giving a child a warning about what is coming next BEFORE they need to get started is very helpful. You may say, “Once this show is over, it will be time to brush your teeth.” Then repeat the short phrases when the show is over.

“Yes, mommy.” or “Yes, daddy.”

If you ask your child to help you clean up toys, encourage her to agree with you by saying, “Yes, mommy.” By acknowledging you with this phrase, your child acknowledges to you they will do this and are more likely to carry it out. If you don’t hear an immediate response, pause for a few minutes to give them a chance to respond or ask a follow-up questions to be sure they understood.

“A wise child accepts a parent’s discipline; a mocker refuses to listen to correction.” Proverbs, 13:1

“Repeat what mommy said.”

One thing parents (and teachers!) of young children do a lot of is repeat. However, instead of saying your instructions five times and becoming background noise, encourage your children to “repeat what mommy said.” This also helps them process and remember your request.

Here’s the bottom line.

Your child need to learn to follow adult (parent & teacher) expectations, including performing simple chores. You can teach them to cooperate by the way you speak and expecting them to cooperate. It is work, but it is worth it!

“Treat a child as though he is already the person he’s capable of becoming.” Haim Ginott

This resource teach you age appropriate expectations for your child. We hope you find it helpful: Teaching Your Child to: Cooperate with Requests

keep it short | september 2018

Short Phrases Parents Can Use

To Help Children Cope with Emotions

The transition to preschool (new classroom, teachers, children, separating from mom & dad) can trigger big feelings. Initially when your child gets upset, sad or anxious, your first gut reaction may be to say something like, “There’s no reason to get upset.” Or “You’re okay” or “You’ll be okay” as a way to minimize your child’s emotional responses to situations.

The downside of this approach is that it sends a message that feelings are something to be ignored or bottled up. Later that day or week, your child may act out or meltdown without a clear or obvious source. This often leaves us feeling confused as parents, but here’s what’s happening: Your child is looking for a way to release emotion because they aren’t yet equipped with coping skills to process emotion.

What to do say instead:

“You seem to be (insert feeling: angry, worried, sad, etc) about (insert cause).”

Describe to your child exactly what you see in the moment. For example: “You seem to be upset about leaving the park.” “You seem to be disappointed that you can’t have ice cream right now.” Acknowledging your childs feeling (instead of minimizing them) is a way to show that you understand their point of view. Acknowledgement unlocks what is going on below the surface and helps a child connect how they are feeling with how they are acting. It doesn’t magically “fix” the emotion but it is the first step in teaching your child how to work through difficult feelings.

“I am here to help you.”

No matter what emotion your child is struggling with, it is always comforting to know that mom or dad is there to provide a safe place. This phrase encourages children to know they can share their emotions and feelings with you - no matter how illogical and emotionally drive they are - without judgement, shame, or punishment. Feelings are just feelings. Children don’t choose them.

“My child is not giving me a hard time, my child is having a hard time.” Author Unknown

“Let’s take a deep breath.”

Like acknowledgement, breathing is magic sauce for helping a child (and adult!) get to calm. Help your child learn how to make his belly move up and down by taking big breaths. Do it together, holding your hand over your bellies. Modeling the behavior helps get your child started.

“At the same time.”

Instead of using the word “but” (which can undo everything you said before it) choose the phrase, “at the same time.” It conveys the message that your child has been heard. “I see that you are sad at the same time, we are leaving the park.” “I see that you are upset that he is playing with the truck, at the same time I won’t let you hit.”

Here’s a great blog post to unpack this phrase even more:

How 4 words changed how i talk to my kids and everyone else too

faith and family | september 2018

“With God, all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

I am not a morning person. Parents of toddlers, specifically mothers, are usually tired. Part of the fatigue is mental and part of this is sleep deprivation. Don’t even get me started on the early days with a newborn. I was there in the trenches! I compared it to SEAL school. (I see you, moms of multiples and itty bitties.) I’ve always been one of those people who loves to sleep. If I am given an option I always go to bed and fall asleep early. I love to snuggle in for a snooze. It used to be a small thing until about three years ago I became a mom and my sweet baby depended on me for EVERY. THING. Then I began a routine of waking up to her/for her - out of whack and frazzled.

These days, I despise the grumpy attitude I show my daughter when I am running late or I am hitting snooze when she wants to get up. One day, not too long ago, I heard her say, “BUT It’s morning time, Mom.” And you know what? That struck a nerve. I am ashamed of myself for not planning better and not being a better role model. I want her to see a mother who is joyful and gentle and capable. But she saw a confusing scene. Me at my worst, tired and angry about it, too tired to get up with her and frazzled since I was running late. So I did some digging through the internet and read mom blogs galore. And I prayed.

I am not about to heap guilt on you, dear readers. I am so far still imperfect, overwhelmed at times and filled with a deep need of improvement. I can’t be wise enough, patient enough or loving enough; but “in Christ, I can do all things (Phil. 4:13).” I am also persistently getting up for my life and I have asked God to come alongside me on this practical journey. It’s a routine - one of the many I found on my quest for a more streamlined morning for me and my family. Science says to create a lasting habit you have to repeat the behavior consistently. That is the most common advice I’ve found. Guess what, it works. It’s true. It’s not glamorous but the facts are the facts. So write up a simple routine and execute. Set the alarm and put the clock (or iPhone) on the other side of the room. Drink water, brush your teeth, make your bed. Just check the things off the list and that’s going to make morning easier.

In my search for routines in the morning, I found the single most helpful step is to connect with God. In silence. Before everyone else is up. Ugh. I know you’ve tried this before. I know I have, in different seasons. It has worked at times. But this time I am saying one minute- one minute, one verse -  for 28 days or 30 days. Whatever is easy for you to mark off the calendar. 

Psalm 143:8 “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” If you have a morning routine already, add this verse to it! 

Then I add some feet by following a plan. I check a calendar and my to do list. I exercise. Ask yourself Am I consistent in submitting my plans to God?  God has already given you a purpose. These are not isolated habits. We are getting ready! Ready and open to respond to whatever God may lead us to do each day. The enemy wants you to believe you are too small and too insignificant when in fact God wants to use you to influence your family and our community. If I am frazzled, tired, and frustrated I am not open to hearing God. 

Let’s make starting our day at the feet of our Father, our default. Let’s start our days by asking, How can I bring glory to You today? How can I be a messenger of His mercy? Let’s make living intentionally our habit. Habits do not require much thought. As we develop a habit, that action becomes second nature. Our character is the sum of our habits.   

We know that we are created for God’s glory - Isaiah 43:7 “Everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.”

We know that we are called to share his love with others - Matthew 28:19 “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”

The Bible says that “With God, all things are possible (Matt. 19:26).” Do you believe that anything is possible in your life? Even if you feel unorganized or visionless or humdrum, the fact is that each one of us has something meaningful to accomplish in this world. As long as we live, we have a purpose to fulfill. 

Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” We are not just building the habit of meeting with God, we are also being persistent in our pursuit of Him. Let’s do whatever it takes to surrender to Him with a desire to grow our willing heart every morning.

Dear Lord, 
Thank you for calling us to know you more. 
Give us discipline and energy to consistently make time for you daily. 
Be gracious to us; we long for you. 
Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.  (Isaiah 33:2)
I pray that today will send me your good word that will satisfy my soul
as I entrust this day and myself to you.  (Psalm 143:8)
Shine your light on my path today and make it brighter and easier to follow as the day progresses.  (Proverbs 4:18)
In Your Son’s name, Amen

Roberta Smith, Faith and Family Coordinator
 

from the director | september 2018

There are many factors that make Weekday School a special place — but one of these is our level of parental involvement.  Weekday School parents, you are amazing!  In the weeks ahead, it is my goal to be able to connect in some way with each of you, getting to know you better, and learning your names - just as I am learning the names of all the children.

Because you are such invested parents, I know you will want to attend our Open House on the evening of Tuesday, September 18th. This parents-only event will give you an opportunity to socialize with other parents and hear about what your child has been learning in the first few weeks of school. You can find all the details about Open House here. And just for fun - WDS moms are invited to a night out at Infusion Tea in College Park on Thursday, September 27 - details here.  Building friendships is just as important for adults as it is for preschoolers!

Our desire for this year is to partner with you to support the growth and development of your child. That means that we recognize that YOU are the expert on your child. You know your child intimately. We (the teaching staff and me) are specialists in preschool development. We have experience observing and teaching two, three, and four year olds and can shed light on what is “typical” for this age group. Working together we can make a powerful team.  
If you have questions, concerns or need ANYTHING as we move through, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me or your child’s teacher. We are honored to partner with you this year!

In Christ, 

faith and family |august 2018

New School Year, New Me

“For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.” Romans 7:18 ESV

I don’t know about you but Back to School Season evokes a fresh sense of renewal. Even before I became a mother, I felt possibility and a clean slate in the anticipation of a fresh box of pencils or an unmarked notepad. It’s the start of something new! I still find myself resolving to be more organized, exercise more, and devote more effort to my relationship with Christ. You know- to do something more or something less. It’s the same routine we can fall into because we desire to change for something better. 

Anyone of us can begin again right where we are. We do not need new calendar year or a new season to make things better in this life. As a believer in Christ, it’s not about a massive overhaul only to fall short. We can challenge ourselves to ask the Lord to help us every day, to discipline us, and to equip us. In this way, we ask Him to change our focus to things of eternal perspective. To wait in joyful anticipation for His return. 

On what basis am I going to live in this new year? Will it be do it yourself? It all depends on me? Or will I accept what God offers me every day, fresh from Him? When I realize the depths of my sin and my need for Him the answer is clear as a bell. I will ask for deeper love for my enemies and my neighbors, less comparison, humble hospitality, and fearless sharing about Christ’s love. He can and will be there for us weary parents. We can believe that because He says so. So as we begin this and all New Years let’s focus on fresh beginnings each day. New commitment to asking for help and seeing the joy in desiring better.

Lord, thank you for this new year that lies before me.   I choose to depend on you, and accept from your hand all that you would give me. In your sons name, Amen

Roberta Smith, Faith and Family Coordinator