I recently read a quote from author Alan Falding that keeps rolling around in my head and heart.
“Don’t talk trust and live worry.”
Wowza. This is so descriptive of me. I often live worry.
The month of May triggers the worry in me. The end of the school year means the end of my routine. It means letting go of what I have “mastered,” what is comfortable, known, even predictable. May whispers, “Change is coming.”
If you’re like me, change can trigger worry. I want to trust God with my future and the future of those I hold dear. But I confess there is a wide gap between my trusting words and the way I live anxiety day to day. Not seeing the future clearly or knowing what it will be like sets my mind racing with the “what ifs.” Maybe you can relate as we close out this school year. What if they don’t like their teacher next year? What if their friends are in another class? Another school? What if they are not ready? What if I’m not ready?
Here’s what I’m realizing.
I’ve misplaced my trust. Instead of fully trusting God, I consistently lean on other things in addition to God (positive outcomes, pleasant circumstances, other people, my ability to figure things out, my comfort zone) for security, even my sense of self. It’s shaky ground. When things change or circumstances don’t match the picture I have in my head, I feel zombified by a constant case of low-grade panic. Anyone else?
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3
I almost wonder if we feel like it’s our job as moms to live this way. Like worrying is a sign that we really love our children well. Hear me clearly, I don’t think we can escape worry. I do think we can notice when we’re drowning in it and talk to ourselves differently. I learned a phrase recently that’s helping when my mind camps out on a worry: “I can trust God with this.”
Maybe you whisper back to the month of May and say, “I know change is coming, but:
"I can trust God with what comes next.”
“I can trust God with the next school year.”
“I can trust God with my child’s life.”
“I can trust God with my life.”
Thank you for trusting us to love and teach your child this school year. We have truly loved every minute of it. We are trusting God with all of you and whatever comes next for your remarkable little ones.